I’m a Slave, I’m Schizophrenic, a Burnt-out Musician and an Unknown

- February 11, 2013

2013 is shaping up to be a career-defining year for me. I have committed to several projects I believe will take advantage of my best talents. Each film is distinctively creative and allows me to work with some really fantastic professionals.

The test shot was done by Carolyn Slay

As it stands now, I will be producing several; I’m acting in a few; doing some writing on a couple of others, and directing one. I will be sure to keep you posted as these projects mature.

Although I’m excited about all that’s on the horizon, my initial foray into the world of film and theater was as an actor. Throughout my life I've been drawn to interesting personalities (many of which are in my family)…and in that context, I guess it all makes sense. Nevertheless, several roles are coming up for which I have begun preparation. I’m a Slave, I’m Schizophrenic, a Burnt-out Musician, and the best way to describe this last character is as an Unknown.

It's time to put in work and I am in the process of delving into these new worlds - - which include story and characters, a new collaborative team; engaging my imagination, and finding the truth of something. The process feels spiritual…for me it is spiritual. And it’s connected to the best of who and what I am.

Photo by Jean Paul Cassignol

For those who are keeping up with my progress and are unfamiliar with the intricacies of this art form, here’s a bit of context. At various stages of development, when I’m focused, it’s quiet, and I begin to engage in this sort of self-talk (opening myself up to this new world), I feel more connected to the Father - - it's a broadening, deepening experience.

In the past, when it begins to take hold, what has shown up for me is a peaceful confirmation that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing…or something like that. It’s akin to Keanu Reeves’ character Neo when he began to see the Matrix for the first time...for what it really was. There is a parallel experience when a character begins to manifest.

Here's what I mean.. when the character materializes, I begin to see, feel and respond to the world differently. When done well, the lines between truth and fiction begin to blur and this "new" world begins to be almost tangible for me. I have even had experiences on the stage, where it appears that I'm watching myself. I'm out of the way and the character takes over. It's silencing, powerful, and humbling yet I will concede that it can be a delicate, temperamental dance, because “at times” as quickly as it shows up, it can evaporate. This means for me, more preparation, more focus, and more surrender…that’s the recipe.

The slave piece is up first, so I'm walking down that road…I use pictures...they are a part of my preparation...I'm visual, and at times auditory, but primarily visual. I see it, then I feel it.

I stare at this picture objectively...opening the door.. the character walks in...the transformation begins.

As preparation continues, I work veraciously and release myself fully to this world - - learning my lines, growing my hair out a bit (in this instance) while finding each character's voice. Having been recently inspired by Daniel Day-Lewis (his discipline and commitment), I realize the necessity for me to go deeper in. Judging by these pictures, it doesn't get much deeper than this.